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Transcript

Transcript – Episode 37 – How To Create Habits That Stick – With Kim Barnes Jefferson

Alice Agnello: Hey there, Beautiful. Welcome back to the show today I have an extra special guests, Ms. Kim Barnes Jefferson. She's going to teach us all about habits, how to create, how to maintain them. So welcome to the show. Kim, thanks so much for being here.

Kim B Jefferson: Thank you so much Alice. I am looking really forward to having this great conversation.

Alice Agnello: Me too because I am good at developing habits but sometimes I'm not good at sticking with them. So when you and I were chatting and I was like, Oh this is so going to be a great topic for me, just personally for me to ask a ton of questions about. Um, so tell my listeners who you are, what you do and all that good stuff.

Kim B Jefferson: So I am a health and fitness coach and I specialize in working with women over 40 to feel fit, comfortable and confident in their body no matter where they are on their journey.

Alice Agnello: And I think at this point in our lives we've been struggling with that for a long time. So we just want it either to go away, disappear or as you said, get comfortable with it and figure out, okay this is who I am and I'm okay with that. Which I think is sometimes hard for women to really accept and do.

Kim B Jefferson: It is, it is hard cause like, you know, especially in this social media world, you know, you look around and everyone is, appears to be, you know, have it all. Like they've got the great kids, they've got the great program, they've got the great life and you're like, I'm a hot mess over here. What is happening?

Alice Agnello: And I always think that because I was a photographer. So when I look at photos now, I taught my kids, don't ever believe anything that you see in a physical photograph is real ever because of Photoshop. Things that you can manipulate now in a photograph or even now into videos I think is just even more scary now. What I see that's out there. So I completely agree with you that social media just puts on this extra added pressure that the magazines of our youth, you know, ever did.

Kim B Jefferson: No, and I even, you know, even as we were growing up, yes it was Photoshop. So I'm not naive in that, but I don't think it was to the extent of like I'm going to airbrush abs on or I'm going to airbrush, you know, off the wrinkles on people.

Alice Agnello: Yes. Or making the cause now, I mean I've done it too for clients, you know, suck in the hips just a little bit, you know, curve off a little, make their cheeks just a little bit slimmer when they smile cause you know, they're self conscious about when they see the photos. So.

Kim B Jefferson: Right. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Alice Agnello: So for habits. What do you want to talk about first?

Kim B Jefferson: I guess the biggest thing I always start with my clients is you have so start small, you know, we all think that change is like, like that blockbuster movie. Like at the end of the movie, you know, all the, like the crime is solved, all the pieces come together and you're just like, you've hit this like magical place. Um, did you ever see the movie Pulp Fiction? Yes. And you know how, um, every time that they, for those people who have not seen Pulp Fiction, uh, they're searching for this box but you never know what's inside the box. But every time you, someone sees the box, there's this like magical glow and everyone is just like, Ooh, about this, whatever's in that box. And that's what I think people think results are. What habits are, is that you're going to get to this place where you have this magical box that you open. It's like this is what I've been waiting for. And it's really a bunch of really small steps that done over time make the most impact on what you're trying to achieve.

Alice Agnello: Cause I think the hardest part for me and along with I think other women is that if we don't see an immediate result as fast as possible, we're like, “Hey, we've been doing this habit for seven days. Why isn't it working yet?” We get so discouraged so fast. So kind of like, tell me what kind of small habits do you want or you try out first?

Kim B Jefferson: So I always say pick something really small. So usually when I pick something small, people always say water, right? You know, water is always at one thing that they're like, ah, if I drink more water and I'm like, great. So I'm a big fan of habit stacking. So I love my coffee, it's my jam. And every morning I have a cup of coffee. Most people do. Most people have that cup of coffee first thing in the morning and you don't have to think about it. It's a habit. And then before I have my second cup of coffee, I have to have glass of water. And so it's like my, my coffee, my water is the gap or the reward to have cup number two.

Alice Agnello: So it's kinda like, okay, it's an easy shift. Like, okay, I just need to drink this cup of this water first and then shift into the coffee. And that's just one little tiny tweak for my morning. Instead of doing some ginormous treat, like I'm going to cut out all coffee for some reason.

Kim B Jefferson: And replace it all with water. Yeah. And so it's like I'm not the cold turkey kind of person. I wish I were. And some people are, they could be like, “Oh, I'm just now just doing this. This is how I am right now.” And I'm not like, I need to baby-step myself into the pool, you know? No cannonballs for this girl. And when I find, when I tell my clients that, they're like, wow, I never thought of it. So if you think about any other small habit that you wanted to start, you know, even working out, most people think, Oh, I want to work out, but I have to be at the gym for an hour or I have to go here, I have to do this, blah blah blah. But what if you said, I want to work out for 15 minutes. So it solves two things. One, the starting of working out in to the time, everyone has 15 minutes. And it could be while you're cooking dinner, you might be doing jumping jacks while you're waiting for the rice to boil. You know, it could be doing push-ups or sit-ups while your kids in the tub, but it's something.

Alice Agnello: And so with this habit stacking, so for the one in the morning, then do you try and set a time to get that down correctly? Like do you just like for a week, keep it going for a month, keep it going? Or when do you tell your clients?

Kim B Jefferson: I tell everyone, like at least start for 30 days and I, there's an app on my phone, I think it's called Today.

Alice Agnello: I'll figure it out and link it up in the show notes.

Kim B Jefferson: Yeah. And it's, I like it because every time you do the habit, you hit the, you hit the date that you did the habit. So you kind of start to visually see it and reminds me of, um, Jerry Seinfeld, when he first started doing comedy, he knew he, he needed to have like this whole library of jokes and he didn't have a library of jokes. So he challenged himself every single day for two months to write a joke and he got an old school, uh, calendar and he would just put a, an X every time he wrote a joke and he told themselves, don't break the chain. So that's what today is for me. Like I'm a visual person. And so when I see, you know, the habit I'm trying to create and I see the, I broke the chain, I'm like darn it and I got to get right back on the horse. So it's, I get like a double, double hit that I, you know, I stack it against something I already do. And then at the end of the day I give myself either a check or I don't get a check for creating that habit.

Alice Agnello: So what do you tell people when they feel bad for not, you know, missing a couple of days or something like that? Cause I think that's how we beat up ourselves and then we can't, we feel like we can't get back on that horse again to restart the habit.

Kim B Jefferson: And first of all, there's that, there's not a perfect action. Actions are messy. And the first thing I tell people, like you're gonna fall and you're just going to get back up and you'd be like, you know what I learned, I learned what didn't work. So yeah, are there mornings, sometimes when I'm rushing out the door that I just have that cup of coffee and I don't have that glass of water? No I don't. But then I also say, you know what? I have an opportunity to make this up and not in a like, you know, taking a test kind of way. Like I get extra credit, it's more for my mental health. So I miss my cup, I miss my morning water this morning, but I'm like, okay, before I go to bed, I'm going to make sure, you know, I have a glass of water with dinner so that it's not, you know, it doesn't get away from me. And if I miss the glass of water before dinner, I'm like, you know what? Tomorrow's a new day.

Alice Agnello: Right. And, and to keep that frame of mind like I can always do better the next day. And, and to not beat yourself up for not getting it perfectly right on today.

Kim B Jefferson: Absolutely. And I do this thing, one of my habits that I do when I brush my teeth, I assess my day. So I'm brushing my teeth and I said, how did today go? And I don't, it's not a pass fail. You know how I think it was an elementary school used to get like excellent, satisfactory needs improvement. Yes. That's how I, that's how I, you know, review my day and I say, okay, how did the day go? And some days excellent, some days satisfactory, some days needs improvement and I don't beat the crap out of myself when those needs improvement days, I'm like, okay, well you know what you slept in today. So that means you missed your water or you slept in today. So that means you didn't go to the gym. So what are you going to do so you're not sleeping in tomorrow? Like all right, I'm going to finish brushing my teeth and not be scrolling on Instagram for two hours and be like, where'd the night go? Or I'm going to, you know, get my tushie into bed as soon as possible so that I can get up tomorrow morning and not be racing out the door.

Alice Agnello: So once you've kind of established, and we'll go back to the water example, you know, adding that one little extra water in between the two cups of coffee, like are you then trying to teach how to get more water in your day and another like get that one set. Like don't try and add on another million habits or even once you've got that one set for water, do you then try and add something else into the health fitness routine?

Kim B Jefferson: I'm, I'm a big fan of, let's just take a step by step because I, we've all seen when you try to juggle 40 balls, one ball drops and as soon as one ball drops, you're like, well hell, they're all dropping. So you know, for me, I work on a habit until it becomes like brushing my teeth. Like I don't think about brushing my teeth. I just pick up the toothbrush and I don't know, do I, do you start right? Do you start left, you just brush your teeth. It's just what you do. So I keep that habit where I feel like, you know what, I got this now I can add on. And it might be adding on more water so that, you know, I've got the morning water, I'm locked up, I teach group fitness classes. So the one thing I always tell myself the second time I habit stack is when I'm in my class, I bring my water bottle and I drink that whole water during class so that I know there's two times during the day I've gotten in my water and I'm not chugging down like gallons of water. It's like, it's literally like 16 ounces of water. Like if you can't drink 16 ounces of water in an hour, like come on, especially when you're working out, you know what I mean? I mean, you're definitely going to be able to do it then. Yeah. And it's an, even if I'm finishing it up on my way to the car, like it's still like I drink 16 ounces of water.

Alice Agnello: Yeah. I, um, it's funny you bring up the water and this example, because I knew I wanted to drink more water and I just couldn't figure out because like it wasn't a way to really know how much I was drinking or I always felt like I couldn't figure it out. And so I, in my, um, my phone, I put in reminders that go off at like three times a day. They go off and I know that when I haven't drunk enough in my water bottle by that next one that I'm supposed to refill it, I'm like, okay, I've got to finish all this. And now granted if it's been a busy day, again, as you said, I give myself a break, you know, I can't drink 16 ounces in 20 minutes or less, so I'll just, okay, I'll try and finish that as soon as possible and then I'll get to the next one, you know, after that. And I definitely have felt a difference in the sense that I am definitely more on task because I put those reminders in my phone and it's helped me get a little bit better in that situation.

Kim B Jefferson: Oh my gosh. Right. If I don't, um, set reminders on my phone, like our alarms on my phone, my God, I, I wouldn't have made this interview exactly. And you know, I work from home most of the time and my husband every once in a while works from home and my phone's going off all the time. He goes, doesn't that make you crazy? I'm like, no, it keeps me on time.

Alice Agnello: Yes. Yes. It helps me with structure. And when people don't do that, I just don't understand how they are actually functioning.

Kim B Jefferson: I don't know. And I, and I told him like, it's my habit cause like I know like I could be sitting here and then I'm like, Oh crap, it's six o'clock. Like, Oh I was supposed to do something at 5:30 pm.

Alice Agnello: Well it's like people who don't have a calendar or where a watch, I'm like how? How do you function?

Kim B Jefferson: Exactly. And do you have an assistant that magically appears next to you? All the time, like an actual physical person to tell you what you're doing? I mean, I want to be that that person has people, but I don't, I might people buy a personal assistant as my iPhone.

Alice Agnello: I know, right, exactly. So what do you tell people? I always, there's like I've heard in order to create a habit, you have to do it so many times over so many days in order for it to actually be a habit. So what, what kind of timeline do you subscribe to?

Kim B Jefferson: So I'm going to give you a little trivia. So like some random night, you're a trivia night, you're going to win. Um, so the whole, you know, the, the whole adage, it takes 21 days to create a habit?

Alice Agnello: That's it. Thank you. Yes.

Kim B Jefferson: Yeah. So that was created by a plastic surgeon and it was because it took his clients 21 days to get used to any type of like facial thing that he did for them. So if I'm a nose job or he did lips, it took them about 21 days to start to recognize themselves as their new face. So that became the adage 21 days to create a habit. I believe it was James Clear, but I could be wrong. He started doing more research and said that it's roughly about 66 days to create a sustainable habit. So I always tell people, you know, start with 30 days and assess because maybe you took on too much, maybe you're crushing it and you can add on, but at least 30 days, start it out, do an assessment. If you're using that, you know, habit tracker, if you will, see how you're doing, you know, are you doing satisfactory, do you need improvement, are you crushing it? And then decide how to move on from there.

Alice Agnello: And, and this might sound like a weird question, but like how many habits you think an average person should have? I mean, or it just really will depend on the person and what they're trying to accomplish.

Kim B Jefferson: I mean, if you think about everything, we have habits for everything like coffee, right? We've been using coffee for awhile, so let's just keep with it. Coffee. If you put cream and sugar in your coffee, do you put cream in before the put the sugar? Where do you put sugar in before the cream? That's a habit. You know when you brush your teeth, when you brush your teeth and wash your face, do you wash your face first and brush your teeth? Like that's also a habit. So I think we all have little habits. We all have little routines where we'll have little systems and that's what makes it repeatable. And so at some point your habits or just what you do.

Alice Agnello: And I think what's interesting, what you're saying is that like as you said, like when I get ready for bed, like at some point I am in a brush my teeth, but I just don't know. Sometimes it's before I take a shower, sometimes it's after I take a shower. But I know that that's a part of the routine. I think where I get stuck is that it's, it's the ones that are so new that you, you're, there's all this resistance to try and do it because you know that you're going to be changing in some way and therefore you're so resistant to the change, even though you know that you need to do it for your health or your fitness, whatever it may be.

Kim B Jefferson: Oh, absolutely. And you know, we're creatures of habit, right? So for some, if a habit is easy, we'll do it all day, every day. But if it requires us to change and get uncomfortable to get messy, Oh good God, we're going to fight it tooth and nail. So that's why I always challenge my clients, start with something small. So like the water, like, Oh, I already drink coffee, so I'm going to put water between my second cup of coffee. Yeah. It's not going to be a hardship. It's a, I'm not going to like it, but it's not going to be a hardship. Versus if I told you, Hey, here's a gallon of water, drink this all day, you're going to be like, Oh, hell no.

Alice Agnello: No. It's overwhelming. I see that. I see people walking around, especially at the gym with these gallons and I'm like, that just intimidates me. I just can't do it. Like I want my little one and I can just refill it over and over and that's much better for my head structure, you know, for my head to take grip to wrap around it. Then this huge thing I have to lug around all day.

Kim B Jefferson: That's where I am too. Like um, I did fitness competitions and we used to have to drink a gallon of water and everyone would walk around with this damn gallon and I was like, Oh sweet Jesus one is heavy too. I would rather buying a bottle that was exactly like I had about bottle. That was exactly if I drank four of them, it was a gallon and I was like, I can get around that. I could be like, yes, that's up four times and I'm good. I could cross it off and I've had four and I was ecstatic.

Alice Agnello: Exactly. So what do you tell people who are trying to create that habit but keep falling off the wagon and they just are getting so defeated on trying to change in some way?

Kim B Jefferson: Yeah. So I always say you're never going to change as fast as you want. You know, we all live in the Amazon prime world where you know, if something doesn't arrive to us in two days we're like, that company sucks. And so what I always say is like, okay, the change is going to happen. So let's focus on you know, what's possible today and then assess every single day. So that's why when I brushed my teeth like how did I do so that way I'm always giving myself that constant feedback of like, yeah I had a good day today and it was good because yeah I got that water in between my coffee and I got my water in during my class. I'm doing really good. And that way I give myself pep talks cause so many people talk about motivation. That's motivating because it's like, wow, I did it today. Or even if I had a challenging day, you know, if I got up, maybe I got up late, but I still figured out a way to put my water in. Or you know, maybe my class was canceled, but I still figured out a way to like get that mid day water in. So I'm like, yeah, I'm winning, I'm, I'm, I'm crushing it. So always ask people to find a way to celebrate something that they've done. Because when you feel good, you want to do more. But when you keep telling yourself, Oh, because you missed your water this morning, you suck. Are you excited? Do you want to do it? Do you want to do more or do you just want to like lay back and just be the way you were?

Alice Agnello: Yeah. I think that internal dialogue in your head is the hardest thing to overcome. And being aware of how loud that voice is being and what it's saying to you is just the most crystallizing moment. I think for me was when I was more aware of paying attention to how I was talking to myself in my head rather than what I was actually like saying to other people. I'm like, Oh yeah, I had a great day and then I'm beating myself up in all the things I didn't get accomplished or all the habits I should have tried to do because I was trying to eat better or drink more water or don't eat this thing or don't eat a piece of chocolate and that kind of a thing.

Kim B Jefferson: Yeah, and it's funny you say that about the whole self talk, like negative self talk never goes away. I, you know, it will never go away because if you are someone who is like, you know, trying to better yourself, you're always going to be at another level. And you know, they say new level new devil. So what you've overcome in the past, you've now got another step that you're like, crap, I thought I was going to get over this, but you're never going to get over it. But what happens is instead of you spending maybe two days or a week beating the crap out of yourself, it might turn into you spending 15 minutes of starting down that spiral. Like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I don't do this. Like I, I, we don't talk to myself like this anymore. So you become more aware of it. But you know, I always tell people, it's kind of like fitness. You don't like, you know, you might've said, I'm going to lose 30 pounds. You're going to lose the 30 pounds, but you're not done. You know, you're now you have to figure out how do I keep these 30 pounds off? And so that now you're at a different level. Like you're not about, you know, how do I lose you? Like how do I not go back? And that's where, you know, we always have to kind of focus on, we're always trying to achieve the next step, the next step, the next step. And it, it's a process and it's going to come slow. But it, it does happen, you know? So when I was in college, I was like, I was the roommate that like I didn't get out of bed till two in the afternoon. It was like, don't even talk to me until one o'clock now I get up and out most days by five and five 30 in the morning. Yeah, my college roommates are like, “What!? I can't talk to you.” They're like, well who are you? And I'm like, I was like, I know. But for me I had to create that morning habit because I always came up with an excuse not to workout in the evening. I had a bad day, I was hungry, you know, so what asked me to do something after work and it just was like, no, no, no, no, no. But no one calls you at five 30 in the morning. Be like, Hey girl, what are you doing?

Alice Agnello: Exactly and I think those are the hardest habits to change these, the big ones, because you literally have to rearrange your whole entire schedule, but you know that it's going to be good for you in the end. And it's funny how you say that because I've always been been a morning person, but now I'm even more of a morning person. I do get up at five because it's quiet and it's, I can be by myself for a little while and I, and I love that. Even on the weekends sometimes I'll do it and I've been stuck at this one weight for a really long time and I keep thinking I'm gonna lose the 10 I'm going to lose the 10 but I think to myself, okay, but the habit they created by going to work out three days a week has actually helped you to maintain your weight as it is. And can you imagine if you hadn't created this habit of going three times a week, where would you be now? And how much more weight could I possibly have? So I've been trying to reframe the way that I'm looking at that, which is still hard, but I'm trying to say this habit they created that you still love to do is good and don't look you with it just yet, you know? But be happy with what you have accomplished over the last two to three years.

Kim B Jefferson: Absolutely. And that's that right there. What you just said is gold because so many people, you know, I had a client, um, and it's so funny. I went, we spanned her life. I first met her when she was getting married and she wanted it to be, you know, the uh, buff bride. So it got her ready for her, her wedding. Then, you know, we still continue to work and then she got pregnant. So we worked through her pregnancy, we got her BA, you know, her baby body back and she was so determined to come back to working out five days a week. So determined like that was her habit. That's what she, but you know, you have kids, your kids dictate your schedule. Yes. Kids are like, you know, she wasn't a really good sleeper. So that meant coming to workout in the morning wasn't exactly, you know, awesome when you don't get a lot of sleep. And it took her a while to realize like, I have to get used to that. I might need to be okay with three days a week, right? I might need to be okay with two days a week because I now have someone who's dictating my schedule. Yes, that's very true. And eventually maybe you'll get back up to the five, but right. Not be herself up the whole entire time that I can't get back to where I was before, but two days, three days is better than no days. And so even when I was, you know, even when I started to make the transition to mornings, I didn't go five days a week. Like when I first started it started out with like, okay, one day a week I'm going to go early and you know, let's start there. Let's see how I feel. And then it just, it slowly built over time. It slowly got earlier over time, but it wasn't me just taking a cannonball into this new habit. And you know, I, I challenged everyone, like, time is going to pass anyway, so why do I have to sprint to the finish line when I can? Um, there, I use this expression, but I think it's so funny because I'm never going to run a marathon. Um, but it works. This, this really works. So, uh, I have a really good friend, he coaches marathon runners, long distance runners, and in Boston we had this little marathon. You might've heard of it.

Alice Agnello: Yeah a few times. Yeah.

Kim B Jefferson: So, you know, it gets all these elite runners and I used to work at the one mile mark to the finish line and these runners after running like 25 miles are sprinting down Boylston street. And I'm like, how the hell did you run 25 miles? And then you're in a full out sprint, right? And he says, is that, you know, for 20 ish miles, they run in what they call their sweet spot. It's something they can do over it over and over again. It's not the fastest, it's not the slowest, it's just something that they know is repeatable. And that's what I say about habits. It's that you need to find your groove. You need to find what is your sweet spot so that you can do it over and over again. You know, you talked about your shower, you know that you're going to brush your teeth. You don't know if you're going to brush your teeth before your shower or after your shot, but you know that shower is going to happen and you know your teeth are going to be brushed and so that's what where a habit starts to form for everyone is that you decide it's going to happen. Then you have to figure out where in your current systems, your current routines, you're going to wedge in this new habit and be okay with. It's just one glass of water you that is just one workout. It's just 15 minutes of workout. Be okay with the small steps because the last thing I would add to that is think about if you're someone who lives in a place that it snows a 30 inch snow storm doesn't happen in 30 minutes. A 30 inch snow storm is like an hour's long snow storm, but guess what? That inch an hour that adds up. I want you to think about like your habits, like if you had 30 days of habits, like boom, boom, boom, boom, like think about how high those habits are going to be. If you did it consistently, you know, it's not like it's snows, um, for like a minute and then stopped and you're like, God, this, there was nothing here.

Alice Agnello: Exactly. Or it all comes down in that one minute, 30 inches, boom. And then you're done. And you're like, what just happened? How did this, how did we get here? Kind of a thing.

Kim B Jefferson: Yeah. Cause I'd never, that never happens. No, I'm snowed in. I don't know what to do. But if you like, you just like slowly over time it's going to happen. And, and you know, let's be honest, and if I offend someone, I apologize, but you don't pack on 30 pounds in 30 days unless you have something medically wrong with you, then we're going to have to seek a doctor. But for most of us, we put on weight ever so slowly. It's a pound or two pounds every few months. A pound to two pounds every few months. So if I took a pound to two pounds off every few months, shouldn't I be good with that?

Alice Agnello: Yeah. No, you make a really strong case there because I think that's where women struggle the most is that I want it on and I want it gone and I want to go on now and I want to get it gone as fast as possible, but there's no way to get there in a healthy, sustainable way at the end. If you're trying to create, again, sustainable habits that will continue on your journey to get where you want to go.

Kim B Jefferson: Totally right. And the last example I'll use that usually gets most people is pregnancy. Now, we all know pregnancy is roughly nine months. No one ever goes into their doctor at like month four be like, “Hey, I don't know about you, but I'm done. So how do we speed this up because I need to be done with this right now.” Yeah. Well most doctors would look at you and be like, are you on crack? Like exactly. You have four more months ago. Sit your butt down.

Kim B Jefferson: Exactly. Exactly. I definitely had that feeling on my second child. Only reason being is because I knew what the end goal or result was and I wanted to get there faster, but I knew that you and you have to be patient and you gotta wait and the whole nine yards and got to the end. But yes, exactly.

Kim B Jefferson: You have to have a foot in the kidney and the bladder. You have to like feel uncomfortable. Even if you know, especially during the summer, you have to feel like you're 400 pounds and sweating like a wilder beast all the time. That's what you signed up for. That's pregnant. You might not have thought you sign up for it, but you sure as heck did well and of course there's always those people who are like, Oh girl, let me tell you the worst story ever about either like being pregnant delivery or you know something that's going to scare the bejesus out of you.

Alice Agnello: I always told women that would come up to me or around me, I would always say, look, I have a, I have a story to share and I'm happy to share it with you, but I'm not going to unless you ask, because I know that every other woman on the planet, even in Target or Walmart or you know, just seeing you on the ball field is going to tell you their horrible story about this and that and this and that. And forget it you're talking to a new brand new pregnant mom for the first time. No, no, no, no. Don't, don't talk to them.

Kim B Jefferson: Yeah. I still teach class. Pregnant women would tell me they're like seven months. I'm like, you're like a grenade. Like you could go at any time. Like if you feel any kind of twinge you need to leave because I am not going to give birth to your kid.

Alice Agnello: Is there anything else that you'd like to tell us about habits to be successful at all?

Kim B Jefferson: So, you know, I have this like formula, this blueprint that I always share with my clients and I just want to leave with that is that okay? Your habits equal your routines and your routines equal consistency and your consistency equals results. I know we all want that magic pill. We all want that magic blueprint, but it all starts with your habits because that's what gives you consistency and it's that consistency. Think about it, what you put in your coffee every morning, the order you put in your coffee, how you brush your teeth, how you wash your face. That's consistency and that's a habit. And so that same thing can be applied to your health, your business, your life, your relationships, habits are the building blocks of it all.

Alice Agnello: Oh, I love that. So I always ask, um, my interviewees three questions at the end. So tell me something that not a lot of people know about you.

Kim B Jefferson: All right. This is kind of a weird one, but I, I know that someone out there does the same thing. I can't go to sleep with my closet door open.

Alice Agnello: I love that. No, I know definitely there are lots of people out there that would say the exact same thing. So name three things that you can't live without other than your friends and family.

Kim B Jefferson: Well clearly coffee. That's my jam. My walks, I love my walks and my flip flops. I live the flip flop life.

Alice Agnello: How many flip-flops do you think you own? How many pairs?

Kim B Jefferson: Well, kind of a whore are there a lot.

Alice Agnello: And if you could choose one song to play every time you entered a room for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Kim B Jefferson: I got to tell you, this was a hard one cause I had like, I had like 500 songs that I love, but I was like, all right, break it down to your top three. And then I was like break it down to the top one. My top one is Everybody's Got Their Something by Nikka Costa.

Alice Agnello: I'll have to look that one up. I don't know that one. So this is why, this is why I love this question, because I love music and I'm so then exposed to more music that I didn't even know existed. That's why I love asking that question at the end. So Kim, thank you so much for being here today. I had a blast and I definitely have learned a lot about habits and I'm definitely gonna take away about the consistency and knowing that to go stack, but also to know that it's for the long haul and it's not a race to get to the end of the marathon.

Kim B Jefferson: Absolutely. This has been great and thank you so much. I'm so glad I stalked you on Facebook.

Alice Agnello: I know. Me too. Thanks again.

 

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→  Work on your mindset so you can recognize negative thoughts and work to quiet them.

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→ Understand that taking care of yourself is the most important person in your life and to release the guilt.

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