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Episode 59 – Reflections On What I’ve Learned One Year Later

Reflections On My First Year In Business In Midlife - Alice Agnello

Thank you for a wonderful year!
Here are my reflections on what I've learned.

Hey there Beautiful!

This week marks the one year anniversary of my podcast and website going live.

On June 11, 2019, I finally said, “That’s it! It can’t get any more perfect!” and released my website to the world. I posted on my personal Facebook page and Instagram profile about what I was doing and invited people to listen to my podcast.

That was a scary moment for me but now that a year has passed, it’s also one of my proudest moments too.

This past year has held a lot of “firsts” for me.

  • First time I got a review about my podcast.
  • First time I got someone to agree to be interviewed on my podcast.
  • First time I posted on my Facebook page and someone liked it.
  • First time I posted on my Facebook page and someone commented.
  • First time I posted on my Facebook page and someone shared it.
  • First time one of my pins on Pinterest got over 475,000 views.
  • First time someone other than someone I knew signed up to be on my email list.
  • First time someone responded to one of my emails and said that the podcast was helping them. I totally cried after reading it.
  • First time I created my Facebook group.
  • First time someone I didn’t know joined my Facebook group.
  • First time each of my kids said that they were proud of me and said I’m going to do great things.
  • First time my husband said, “Great job!”
  • First time creating a workshop to help women get unstuck and move forward.
  • First time I made a sale.

I'm most grateful for you. Thank you for listening!

I’ve met so many interesting people, some of whom I was lucky enough to interview. I was able to learn more about myself through those conversations and I hope that you were able to as well.

I am most grateful for you:  for stopping the scroll when you saw my face, reading the title of my podcast, taking a chance when your finger clicked on an episode title that interested you, and for squeezing time out of your hectic life to listen.

Thank you.

And then you continued to listen each week after that.

Thank you.

If you are new and just found me, I also thank you and hope you stick around to see what to listen to next. 

Every time I record the podcast, I imagine that you’re sitting across from me and I’m just talking to you. Granted it’s a one-sided conversation and at times it may seem that I’m talking to myself.

But I always have you in mind and think about how I can help you when you’re listening.

I thought I would take the opportunity in this episode to let you know some things that I’ve learned over the past year in the hope that it will empower you to break out of the possible monotony that consumes you each day and dare to think about what might be possible for you.

And then later I will also talk about some things that I want to accomplish in the next year or so.

Here are the things that I’ve learned over the past year:

The thing to do is to put myself out there.

When I put myself out there, judgment comes right along with me for the ride.

Whether or not the judgment is about what I’m doing comes from others or just from myself, it’s something I think about. I have definitely learned a lot and it has gotten a teeny, tiny bit easier to put myself out there, to put myself in a place that I’m more vulnerable. 

I think my maturity has a lot to do with that and a husband who says, “Who cares what they think?”

I’m also getting better at having a conversation in my head when I’m judging others and to immediately stop. Judging others says more about me and my insecurities than anything else.

It’s never going to happen as as I want it too.

This has a lot to do with patience and me embracing the journey instead of just getting to the destination as fast as possible.

This is hard for me because just like Veruca Salt in the movie Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, “I want it NOWWWWW!”

But I know that there are lessons to learn along the way which will in the long run make me stronger and encourage me to be able to absorb the impact when things don’t go as planned.

It will allow me to be able to change directions quicker, to think on my feet, to be bold when needed, and to know that it’s okay to slow down every once in a while to reflect in order to move forward again. When I slow down I’m able to think with renewed creative energy and consolidate previous gains.

Listening is always the answer.

I’ve worked really hard on listening this year.

This is an important skill to have as a coach but really it applies to so much more than just that.

Being a good listener is more important than what you have to say.

Listening involves more than just your ears. It means that you listen without pre-planning your response with your brain while someone is still talking so you can come up with how you're going to respond even before they’re done speaking.

How is that fair to the person speaking?

You’re NOT listening.

You’re out to win the conversation when it’s not a win or lose situation.

There is nothing wrong with telling someone, “Let me think about this for a minute,” and then thinking about how you want to respond. We don’t always have to have the answer right away and I find that if I wait a bit and form the response that I want, the other person actually seems better able to receive it.

It gives both people time to think about what’s being said and to listen to the words being spoken, instead of using your emotions to craft your response. You are then able to read the entire situation more clearly and give an honest well thought answer.

Guilt has place in my life.

I’ve come to the conclusion that guilt really is a waste of time. I know I’ve talked about it before but when there are days that I just don’t feel like doing anything I sometimes push myself to just do what needs to be done.

And that might not be the best solution. I’ve also been better at recognizing when I am guilting myself into not doing something that I really want to do and talking myself right out of it.

Fear will be present.

I’ve decided to make fear my bestest friend in the whole wide world.

Ignoring fear has not worked so I thought embracing fear would be a better idea. Because fear is always going to be there. My brain is always going to protect me from what it perceives to be something that will hurt me.

I just have to look at fear and say, “Come on, it’ll be fun!” just like your best friend would do before you do something stupid but is thrilling.

You have a friend like that, don’t you?

The one who will convince you to do anything even against your better judgment.

Well I’m that friend, most of the time.

I can’t do I want to do.

I have soooo many ideas that I want to do.

I have lists and lists and my brain never turns off from having another good idea.

But I’ve realized that I have to get good at one thing at a time. Having my attention divided into numerous projects is NOT an efficient use of my time and it makes me not good at anything.

Just mediocre at all of it and having feelings of anxiety that I can’t get it all done. So I have to allow some projects to not even be started and to narrow my excitement into a few projects at a time.

I can’t do it all at the same time no matter how much I want to.

I am a work

I never want to stop improving myself.

I know I still have work to do.

Just when I think I have something figured out life comes along and nudges me to keep improving.

I don’t have all the answers. It might seem like I do because I’m a good actress.

Everyone of us is a good actress when it comes to presenting what you think is a respectable facade to the world. As we get to know each other better you’ll learn all my faults and I’ll learn some of your’s.

My hope is that our learning more about each other will empower and encourage both of us to keep improving, forgiving others, letting go of past hurts, and embracing all the new experiences in our future.

Those are some of the things I’ve learned about myself over the past year. Now, here are some goals that I still want to achieve and am looking forward to:

  • I want to write a book.
    • This has been a lifelong goal for me. I know I’ll do it someday. Just waiting for the AH-HA moment where I know exactly what the book will be about. I already have the title amazingly enough but not the substance. But I’ll get there eventually.
  • I want to gain more muscle mass and to keep moving. 
    • I want to see more definition of those muscles all over my body. I want to challenge myself to take up an additional workout like, yoga, pilates, ballroom dancing, or hitting something hard! Not sure exactly what yet…
  • I want to speak on stage in front of a group of women. 
    • I would want to make those women think in a whole new way that they leave my presentation ready to tackle their world. I have so many creative ideas around how the presentation would go that I have to stop myself from planning it too much since I don’t have the stage booked, yet.
  • I want to learn more about voice acting. 
    • I think it would be so cool to be the voice of some bad ass woman in a video game. Or be the voice of a meditation series or the voice for an audio book.
  • I want to start a non-profit that would help young women and make an impact. 
    • I don’t know if I would be with high school young women or college age. I just feel that if women our age could impart our wisdom to a younger generation, they in turn would open our eyes as well. I’m still thinking about this one but I know some creative idea will hit me and then I’ll move full steam ahead!

This last one is really way off from any of the other things I just mentioned but it came to me and I just thought, heck, I’m writing this down since I know you would understand.

  • I look forward to the day that I don’t have to buy Tampax anymore.
    • Because this perimenopause crap is a joke. I know it’s your body’s way to prepare itself for menopause but can I just skip the hot flashes, weight gain, moodiness, and the inability to eat sugar! I have found that if I decrease my sugar intake my symptoms decrease as well. Sigh. So hurry up body so I can start saving money from all the Tampax I don’t have to buy!

All of these goals are ones that are swirling in my head and I want to have realized, maybe this year, maybe next year.

I thought getting them out of my head and telling you would hold me more accountable.

Don’t know if it will help or not since I’m really, really great at procrastination! 

So I hope this episode was fun for you to listen to. 

What a year it’s been! 

Thank you again for continuing to listen to the podcast and for believing that we will figure out the what’s next for each of us together.

I’ll talk to you later, Beautiful!

Did you miss this great episode about how you're not having a midlife crisis? Go listen NOW!

Thanks for listening!

Share your thoughts with me or ask a question about this episode. Send an email.

I would love for you to leave an honest review over at iTunes/Apple Podcasts. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read every single one.

 

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Alice Agnello, Lifestyle and Success Coach

I'm Alice Agnello.

I’m a California raised, incurable romantic who was too snarky for the corporate world. I love show tunes, chai tea, and all things British. My mission? To help women rediscover who they are, after their kids have grown.

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Download the FREE guide to 5 Things You Can Do This Week To Help Find Yourself. You are ready to take this next step now that the kids have grown.

The guide will help you:

→  Work on your mindset so you can recognize negative thoughts and work to quiet them.

→  Help figure out what’s bothering you and know it’s okay to go at your own pace.

→ Understand that taking care of yourself is the most important person in your life and to release the guilt.

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Download the FREE guide to 5 Things You Can Do This Week To Help Find Yourself. You are ready to take this next step now that the kids have grown.

The guide will help you:

→  Work on your mindset so you can recognize negative thoughts and work to quiet them.

→  Help figure out what’s bothering you and know it’s okay to go at your own pace.

→ Understand that taking care of yourself is the most important person in your life and to release the guilt.

Sign up to receive my whitty newsletters, tips & tricks, promotions, & other emails, & receive this free guide!