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Episode 36 – Patience Is My Wish For You In The New Year

How To Practice Patience When You Don't Want To!

There's nothing like dealing with your children to utilize all of your patience with deep breaths!

Hey there Beautiful,

Another year has almost come to an end and this is the first time in a long time that I am so glad a year is going to end.

I usually don’t feel this way but more like I’m thankful for the past year and am excited to see what the new year will bring.

But with this year I am ready for it to be DONE.

As I have previously mentioned in another episode my husband had two knee surgerys this year. One in June to repair his left knee’s meniscus and the other surgery in September to repair his right knee’s ACL. His right knee then became infected (which is a rare occurrence for an ACL surgery but my husband always seems to be special that way) and what should have been a downtime of approximately three to four weeks turned into two to three months.

The antibiotics killed the infection but also slowly killed his body overall. It has been the slowest of recoveries and he still has pain in his entire right leg. He’s tired of asking me for help and I’m tired of him not asking for help.

And 2019 wasn't entirely done with me!

And to top off this perfect year of health related issues I irritated my back two weeks ago.

There is nothing like trying not to sneeze when your sciatic nerve is letting you know it’s not happy with you.

When I dropped a cap off of the almond milk container on the floor and it rolled over to the exact corner of the kitchen cabinets, I just closed my eyes and groaned. There was no way I was bending down to pick it up. I stared at it and was like, yeah, you’re just going to stay right there until my son wakes up. And then I sent him a text message to tell him to pick up the blue almond milk cap on the floor when he got up from sleeping.

So yeah. I’m ready for this year to be over and I’m really looking forward to see what 2020 brings for me and my family.

One amazing thing that is going to happen in just a few days is my husband and I will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary.

We’re not going to do anything fancy just go out to dinner but I do think it’s amazing that I’ve known this man for almost 30 years. The only people who have known me longer are my parents and my sister.

I met him when he sat next to me in physics class our senior year of high school. I didn’t even know he existed at our high school until that class. The day I met him I went home and looked him up in the past three years of high school yearbooks. Yeah, his freshman year he was a total skater boy and we definitely moved in different social circles.

Even though I am ready for this year to be over, I thought there was one thing I really learned this year.

It came to me when I was in the middle of the most annoying and frustrating situation with my younger son.

It occurred on a Friday night at 5 pm.

I don’t know about you, but on a Friday night at 5 pm the last thing I want to do is leave the house. At that time of night, I’m thinking about putting on my sweatpants and thinking of what to watch on Netflix.

But instead, I received a text from my son letting me know he had just gotten to work and realized as he walked in for his shift that he locked his keys in his car and can I bring him the spare key?

I was just about to drive home so I texted him back that, “Yes I’ll go home, pick up the key and drive out to him.” It’s a fifteen to twenty minute drive one way from our house to his work (just keep that in mind as I tell this story.)

This is not how I thought my Friday night was going to go.

I call my husband and tell him to have the key ready and to run it out to me so I don’t have to get out of the car. I pull up, my husband comes out, hands me the key, I ask about the key fob to unlock the car, and he says, “All you need is the key.”

Again this is very important to the story that I don’t have the key fob to unlock the doors.

I drive about twenty minutes in Friday night coming home traffic and pull up next to my son’s truck. I get out of my car, walk around to the driver’s side of the truck, and insert the key in the lock.

I twist the key but it doesn’t budge. I go around to the passenger side of the truck and try the key on that door lock but again, it doesn’t budge.

What do you mean you have to have the key fob to open the door?

I text my son to ask if he knows if I HAVE TO HAVE the fob in order to unlock the door.

I wait another fifteen minutes for his reply and he says he has no idea.

Yes I could have gone into his work but I was trying to avoid looking like the mother who embarrasses his son while at his job. I have my cool mom reputation to think of!

I text him that I have to go back home to get the fob since his dad didn’t give it to me and where EXACTLY in his room the extra fob could be? He texts me back the top drawer of his nightstand next to his bed.

YES I did try both of the doors. Grrrr. . .

I got back into my car and started driving the fifteen minutes back home again. I called his father to let him know of the situation and tell him to look for the key fob in the top drawer of the nightstand.

My husband then starts to ask all of the dumb questions that men ask implying that I’m an idiot and don’t know how to open a frigging car door lock.

YES, I tried it on both doors.

YES, I have the right key.

YES, I’m sure that I put the key in the lock correctly.

And YES, I did try and open both doors just in case one of them was open.

I almost broke the bluetooth button trying to hang up on my husband all the while fuming about the utter waste of time this was turning out to be.

I even called my Mom to ask my Dad since he was the previous owner of the car if I had to have the key fob in order to unlock the doors.

Shouldn’t just the key work to unlock a door? He of course couldn’t remember that small detail and I didn’t blame him. Would I remember that detail three years after I got rid of my car?

My mom at least said soothing words and sympathized with me for the predicament I was in. She threatened to take my son out of her will if I wanted her too but I told her no.

I finally made it home again, had my husband again come out of the house and meet me in the driveway with the key fob.

He wisely apologized for not giving me the key fob the first time and promised to have dinner ready when I got home.

He was slightly redeemed with the mention of having dinner ready. But I was still pretty steamed at that point.

As I drove out of our neighborhood for the second time that evening I let out a big sigh.

This was so not how I envisioned this evening turning out.

Okay, I get it. I'm learning patience.

Halfway through my 15 minute drive back out to my son’s work and thinking about how much gas I was wasting, I got stopped at a traffic light. I was still so hopping mad, frustrated, and kept thinking about how I’d like to make my son’s life miserable when it hit me.

Was there really anything to get upset over?

Was there really a reason to be mad?

Yes my son made a mistake.

It wasn’t that he had purposely locked his keys in his truck to make my Friday night absolutely suck.

This was a lesson in patience.

This whole situation was based around the lack of knowledge of how the truck worked, multiple errors occurring at the same time, which then set the evening’s events in motion for me.

Oh thank goodness the key fob worked!

I arrived at his truck again and thank goodness when I pushed the unlock button on the truck key fob while still in my car, I saw the lock spring upwards.

I got his set of keys out of the ignition, walked into his work, handed him his keys, he asked me if I wanted anything, I said no, and then I drove back home again.

It was about 7 pm when I finally completed this locked keys in the car debacle.

But that’s the biggest thing I learned this past year, patience.

Patience is also going to be what I carry with me into the new year and I want it to be yours as well.

  • I want you to have patience with yourself and realize that you don’t have to figure it all out in one day.
  • I want you to have patience with your children especially when one starts to stray off the path you gave them and make choices that you don’t necessarily agree with or you’re uncertain how to best help them.
  • I want you to have patience with your body especially if you are trying to lose weight. 
  • I want you to have patience with your journey in rediscovering who you are and know that it’s okay not knowing how all the pieces are going to fit together in order to lead you to something better.
  • I want you have to have patience with your spouse and look at them with new eyes since they might be struggling with something but don’t know what it is or how to tell you.
  • I want you to have patience with your job, your boss, and your co-workers.
  • I want you to have patience with your parents, especially if you have to make tough decisions concerning their welfare.

And . . .

  • I want you to have patience with yourself when things around you are feeling out of your control.

Are you ready to test your patience on purpose?

One place to test out your tolerance for practicing patience in one of the most difficult places that we find ourselves on a weekly or even daily basis, is the store checkout line.

Pick the longest line to get into with your shopping cart and then practice patience. And to make it even harder, don’t use your phone to entertain yourself.

Look around you at the different people in line, look at the magazines, listen to the conversations around you, and practice being patient.

Take a moment and breathe in and out very slowly.

  • Don’t let the slow pace of the cashier get you tied up in knots. 
  • Don’t let the person in front of you who is using ten coupons and writing a check allow frustration to creep up and tense your shoulders. 
  • Don’t let the very chatty man behind you annoy the living daylights out of you with his minute explanation of why he is purchasing beer and wine for his party. 
  • I practice patience every time I’m in line waiting for checkout. It’s such a habit for me now that if I walk right up to the register and I’m out in less than five minutes I feel like I missed out on something.
  • I tell you this since practicing patience has allowed my inner anxiety and worry to diminish. I’m more calm and I listen better to what is being said. So that is my wish for you in the new year, to practice patience.

So how did my son lock his keys in his car?

Oh and if you’re wondering how my son locked his keys in the car with the key fob, here’s what I’ve come up with.

He halfway pulled the key out of the ignition and then left his entire set of keys resting there. He then hit the lock button on the door when he got out and walked into work.

It’s an older truck so why the key didn’t work in the door lock, your guess is as good as mine.

Happy New Year to you.

I’ll talk to you later, Beautiful!

Thanks for listening!

Share your thoughts with me or ask a question about this episode. Send an email.

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Alice Agnello, Lifestyle and Success Coach

I'm Alice Agnello.

I’m a California raised, incurable romantic who was too snarky for the corporate world. I love show tunes, chai tea, and all things British. My mission? To help women rediscover who they are, after their kids have grown.

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→  Help figure out what’s bothering you and know it’s okay to go at your own pace.

→ Understand that taking care of yourself is the most important person in your life and to release the guilt.

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Download the FREE guide to 5 Things You Can Do This Week To Help Find Yourself. You are ready to take this next step now that the kids have grown.

The guide will help you:

→  Work on your mindset so you can recognize negative thoughts and work to quiet them.

→  Help figure out what’s bothering you and know it’s okay to go at your own pace.

→ Understand that taking care of yourself is the most important person in your life and to release the guilt.

Sign up to receive my whitty newsletters, tips & tricks, promotions, & other emails, & receive this free guide!