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Episode 73 – How To Stop Obsessing With Losing 10 Lbs And Fitting Into Those Pants! – with Robin Legat

How To Stop Obsessing With Losing 10 Lbs And Fitting Into Those Pants! - Alice Agnello

How do you stop obsessing about losing ten pounds and fitting into those pants?

Hey there Beautiful!

So do you, like me, want to lose those elusive ten pounds?

Or you keep a certain pair of pants because SOMEDAY you WILL fit into them again?

This pandemic has been a really, really huge help to increase my waistline.

And it was sneaky about it.

Whenever I stepped onto the scale it always, always told me I was the same weight as yesterday and I STILL had to lose those ten pounds.

But I also would go weeks without getting on the scale and then I’d put on a pair of pants that I KNEW did NOT feel this tight around my waist the last time I put them on.

But if you’re like me, with all the time spent at home, jeans were ONLY put on if I had to go out of the house.

The rest of the time I had on jogger sweatpants or black yoga pants because no one was going to see me and they’re comfortable.

But a few weeks ago I noticed two numbers on the dry erase board in our kitchen.

One number was written on top of the other and as I was trying to remember what the heck they were doing there, I suddenly remembered with dread.

I realized that at one point last year, my husband and I had written down our current weights to help keep us accountable.

It was at that moment I got smacked in the head with the knowledge that no, it wasn’t ten pounds that I needed to lose but almost fifteen.

NO WONDER the shorts I wore to Hawaii in March of last year didn’t fit me this year. And that’s when I knew things were going to change around here.

I luckily found Robin Legat in a Facebook group that we’re both in and I had to have her on the podcast.

So who is Robin Legat?

Robin helps women over 40 who are feeling old, gain confidence, overcome life’s obstacles and look, feel and live AGELESS.

She does this through online coaching, workshops and events designed to help women embrace their athletic potential and move from feeling old to living BOLD.

Robin herself is a later-in-life athlete who spent eleven years as a roller derby skater before becoming an obstacle racer in her forties.

In the last five years, Robin has completed over 60 Spartan Races (if you don’t know what those are just Google it and you will see how amazing 

those Spartan Races are) and has stood on multiple age group podiums. By doing so, she has experienced first-hand the far-reaching benefits of athletic aging for physical, mental and emotional health, and her passion is helping other women do the same.

What you will learn in this episode:

  • How she got into roller derby for 11 years with the LA Derby Dolls.
  • How to become an athlete at ANY age.
  • Why there’s power in learning new exercise skills.
  • How women have been conditioned with weight loss to two things: lose 10 pounds and fit into these certain pants. (Huhm sounds familiar.)
  • Why you should take your obsession with the scale and change it to be an obsession with a performance goal instead.
  • How to use the ABC’s of goal setting.
  • Her experience on The Bachelor (you’ll want to stay to the end to find out about that little tidbit.)

And if you want to know more about Robin, all the ways you can contact her are below.

I’ll talk to you later, Beautiful!

Links mentioned in this episode and to contact Robin:

Did you miss this fantastic episode about how we need to stop being so judgmental to others but especially ourselves? Click HERE to listen now!

Transcript:

Alice Agnello: Hey Robin, thanks for joining me today. Appreciate it.

Robin Legat: I am so happy to be here, Alice. Thank you for having me.

Alice Agnello: So tell my listeners a little bit about yourself and who you are.

Robin Legat: Okay. I am Robin Legat. Personally, I'm 45 years old and I lead with that and you'll get why soon. I'm 45 years old, I am an athlete. I am a retired roller derby skater and currently I do obstacle racing, trail running. I'm very active and I like living an athletic lifestyle. And that's what I help other women like me do. I help women who are over 40 or almost there tap into their athletic potential so they can gain confidence, they can overcome obstacles in their lives more easily. And they can look, feel and live ageless. So it's all about not just active aging but I like to call it athletic aging. That's my passion, that's what I'm all about.

Alice Agnello: So before we get started talking about that, I really want to understand how you got into roller derby because I've always thought it's such a cool thing to do. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to do it because I think I'm too afraid of getting hurt and doing it. How'd you get started?

Robin Legat: It's such a weird and wild story because prior to playing roller derby, I was never an athlete. So I think people would assume, oh, you played roller derby, you always played sports. And the answer to that is no. I was the awkward kid growing up. I was the kid that would wait as they were picking teams in school and would end up being the last picked, and that was my lot in life for many years. I never saw myself as an athlete, as a kid, as a teenager, as a young adult, as an older young adult. And so, at the same time, I did always like roller skating. I am a child of the 80s. I always had roller skates as every child of the 80s did. So I would skate around the little cul-de-sac that I lived in, listening to Beastie Boys and Madonna. I don't know why those two stick in my head but that's who I listened to when I roller skated.

Robin Legat: And so, roller skating was always kind of a part of my life as just a thing you did as a kid. I always had a pair of thrift store skates even in college, sometimes I'd skate around campus. And roller derby was a thing that I would watch, I remember in college on my little black and white TV in college, I'd watch it on ESPN Classic. They'd show the old LA T-Birds games from the 70s and 80s. And it was this over the top pro wrestling type of thing, just everything was staged and fake. But it was fun to watch. And it was also one of those rare sports where you saw women out there just as much as you saw men. And women were the stars just as much as men were. So that was kind of a really cool thing to see but it disappeared, it was gone. It became a dinosaur, went into ancient history.

Robin Legat: Well, in 2003, I was living in Fresno. That's where I went to college, Fresno, California. And I lived there for 10 years. I was ready to leave. And a friend of mine from college sent out an email blast about an apartment opening, she needed a roommate in LA, and I was like, this might be my time to get out of here. So I moved to LA in April of 2003. What I didn't realize is that LA is a very difficult place to move if you don't really know anybody.

Alice Agnello: So true.

Robin Legat: So it's a hard city to meet people and make friends. And so my first six months in LA, I was not happy. I was pretty miserable, actually. So, I remember I was at work and I went on the computer and I went on Craigslist to the activity partners section to just find something to do, a way to meet people. I know it sounds weird in 2020 to talk about Craigslist, going to Craigslist to meet. That's really crazy.

Alice Agnello: It's like no, you shouldn't do that. No, no, no.

Robin Legat: That's the opposite of what you should do. Do not meet people on Craigslist, period. But back then there was no social media. There was no Facebook. There wasn't even Friendster at that time yet. So, you went to the activity partners on Craigslist, activity partner section, and there were groups meeting up. And I stumbled across an ad for an upstart roller derby league in LA looking to recruit. And they were brand new, called the LA Derby Dolls. And I was fascinated, I was like, oh, roller derby, this thing that was always in my head that it's like, wouldn't that be cool to do. And now people are doing it.

Robin Legat: And so, I had to make that decision, you talked about being brave enough to do it, I had to make that decision to be brave enough to go to that first practice. And it was scary because I didn't know who I would meet, I didn't know the type of people I would meet. I always was like but I'm the last pick for school and I'm not an athlete and I'm kind of nerd.

Alice Agnello: And you had that idea of what you'd see when you were younger. Is it going to live up to that? Is it going to be worse than that? Is it going to be better?

Robin Legat: It's like you just don't know. And they mentioned in the ad, it's all women. We're doing it as a legit sport. And I was like, that's interesting. So, I just decided to go. I was kind of at that nothing to lose point in my journey and I was like, I need to try something new. And so, I remember like, I put on a nice shirt. I'm like, I want to make a good impression. I had my thrift store skates. Actually, I think at the time, I had Sketchers skates, which are possibly worse than thrift store skates. You might as well be putting cement blocks on your feet with wheels that aren't actually wheels. They don't actually go anywhere. Those lasted like a practice or two max before I had to change things up.

Robin Legat: But I went to my first practice and what I found was a bunch of women like me. They weren't all exactly like me but it's like they all were terrified to go to their first practice, they all didn't know people. Many of them were not athletes. When this roller derby resurgence started, it was a lot of people who did not grow up playing sports and they were more of like punk rockers and they kind of lived a subculture type life. They weren't the popular kids, you know, in school. And so we all connected in that way that we were different. And so, it was really cool to find that. And so, I was hooked pretty quickly.

Robin Legat: And a little background about roller derby is that roller derby did go away. And then a group of women in Austin, Texas in 2001 decided to bring it back. And again, they wanted to bring back that rock and roll punk rock attitude. They were not lifelong athletes. A lot of them were from the local music scene. And they started the first all women's modern roller derby league and then slowly more and more cities adopted. I think Los Angeles was the fourth.

Robin Legat: And so yeah, I went to that first practice. I was among the early adopters, the early participants. And then I fell in love with this thing that fully changed my life. It helped me see that I could be an athlete. I saw my body change as I went to practice. I connected with these women that were all experiencing the same thing. I ended up continuing to do it for 11 years.

Alice Agnello: And what you do now it just kind of a natural segue because-

Robin Legat: It's a natural segue, yeah.

Alice Agnello: Women right now we're all, we might have neglected ourselves for a number of years, and now we feel like we need to do something different, we need to get out there. We don't know what it is, and we're also terrified of going out there and doing something new because a, there's going to be judgment, judgment whether I'm sure in my head that I'm going to be judged by all other people who are out there looking at me because I'm not wearing the right outfit or I'm not the slimmest and I'm the heaviest and I don't know what do to. There's so much of our mindset that prevents us from actually moving forward and starting exercise or eating healthier and doing something different.

Alice Agnello: So, what do you find is the biggest challenge when you start working with a woman trying to become an athlete if she's never been one before?

Robin Legat: Well, there are a couple of, you touched on one of them, which is the mindset. All the things that you think are going to happen if you try this new thing. That people are going to look at me, people are going to judge me, I'm going to look bad, I'm going to look stupid. We all have that. But here's the thing that, there's a secret that I'm going to share that most people don't know and it's that you're the only one thinking that about yourself. Like you are the only one. Everybody around you is thinking that about themselves. Nobody is thinking that about you.

Robin Legat: So, we're all kind of caught in our own mind trash and drama, but what I like to share with people is like, for example, going to the gym for the first time. And it's like, I'm going to look so dumb and people are going to think I'm in the way and people are going to be judging my outfit. You have that feeling and it's really, really scary to go to the gym that first time. But chances are, once you go to that gym for the first time, you will never think that again. You will never have that feeling again.

Alice Agnello: It's the, I don't know how to use the machines, I don't know if I want to ask someone because then everyone around me is going to know that I'm a new person. And most of the time when I go to the gym and I see a woman, the first thing I think of is, oh, that's cute top she's wearing, oh, those are cute pants. Those are the things, I never once think to myself, oh, she's so heavy, she should never be here. Never once. If I see someone who I think could be a new person, I literally will sit there and just send them good thoughts, like good for you. I'm so glad you're taking the time to do this. I never talked to anyone because I'm so like don't talk to me when I'm at the gym.

Alice Agnello: Even now when I go there, and there's certain parts of the gym that I won't go into because I'm not comfortable. Mostly it's the men's side, it's the free weight side. However, I did find one section of the gym that nobody goes to for the most part, and that's where I go, because then I feel like I'm more comfortable and no one's around, and mostly women are around. And what I also noticed is, there's not a lot of women at the gym. I'll sit there and I will count the number of women versus men. And almost 99% of the time, there is maybe four women versus 20 men. And I can't figure out how hopefully through what you've talked about today, we'll get more women to go out and do it.

Robin Legat: There could be a number of factors for that. First of all, it sounds like you're talking about big box gyms. That big box gym environment is pretty universal, where it's like, there's a bunch of men, sometimes I say bros crosstalk and using the barbells. And then it's like women on the Ellipticals. But here's the thing, and there's a couple things. First of all, there are people who work for the gym who are paid to help you. Utilize them. Whether you're just asking a question or you hire them to help you, one way or another, they're there to help you. They want you using the things correctly, they want to teach you how to use things correctly. And there's power in learning how to use things correctly. And that includes the free weights.

Robin Legat: I can tell you from my own experience, one of the most empowering things you could do is be a woman and go to that free weights section with all the guys and do what you're going to do over there. Lift your weights, do your thing. They're not over there judging you. If anything, it's impressive. But it's like, I feel empowered when I'm out there among all those guys lifting my weights, lifting my heavyweights if I want to, doing my thing.

Robin Legat: There will always be some men that might say things. I was going to a big box gym for a little while and I was doing like, I like to be the person at the gym because I'm an obstacle racer, which means I go out and do these races where you run and then you go across monkey bars or climb a rope. So when I go to the gym, sometimes I do weird things at the gym. And I'm the weirdo. So I will go to the pull up bar, bring a couple small ropes, tie them to the pull up bar and do rope pull ups. And yeah, you get some looks when you do stuff like that. And once I had a guy that's like, he said something like, a woman your age shouldn't be doing this. And I was like-

Alice Agnello: I hope you leveled him with the stare.

Robin Legat: Oh no, you didn't. And I'm like, I am trained, I am a trainer, I am conditioned, I know what I'm doing. And I'm going to shame you on the internet now. I didn't tell him that but I did.

Alice Agnello: But you thought it.

Robin Legat: Oh, I shamed him on the internet. You're going to get different personalities. Sometimes somebody might say something. The more you learn and let yourself learn and become empowered in what you're doing, the less anything anyone has to say has any value to you. I encourage you, if you're going to go to a big box gym like that, utilize the people who are there to help, who are there to teach. And if you connect more with a woman trainer, talk to a woman trainer because she gets you. And they're there.

Robin Legat: I like to say that sometimes those smaller community gyms, you'll find a different experience. So, if you go to a boutique gym, even a CrossFit gym, which I know can be intimidating, again, you go there one time and the coach will put you at ease more than likely, and help you feel comfortable and you won't have that intimidating feeling again.

Robin Legat: It's gathering that bravery to go the first time into whatever you're doing, whether it's a gym, whether it's putting on your shoes and going out for a run the first time and utilizing the people who are there to help because they want you to be successful. A gym wants you to keep coming back. They don't want you to be so freaked out that you don't come back, so they have people who are there to help you do that. Utilize their help, even if it's like hey, I don't know how to use this machine, can you show me how? They're happy to show you how.

Alice Agnello: For you, when you're working with your clients, are they wanting to just, what's their first goal that they want to try and accomplish?

Robin Legat: It's different for everybody, especially when you're talking about athletic goals or performance-based goals. I feel like for women, often the first goal that comes to mind is I want to lose X amount of weight, I want to fit into these pants.

Alice Agnello: Because it's tangible, right? You know what I mean? I can see my progress when I step on the scale or put on these pants that something's actually happening.

Robin Legat: That's one side of it. And the other side of it is that is we've been conditioned to find that valuable for women. We've been conditioned that we should look a certain way, we should be a certain weight. And we assign value to that. And so what I like to do is encourage women to think more on a performance side. So what can you accomplish? So I like to help steer them towards that, whether it is run a mile for the first time or do your first pull up, or do 10 push ups on your toes. It starts with little things like that, do a plank for a minute. It starts with little things like that, and then it can get bigger and bigger and bigger.

Robin Legat: But the difference between focusing on that and focusing on weight loss is, when you're focusing on performance, you're moving towards something. You're moving towards being a bigger, stronger version of yourself. And when I say bigger, I don't mean by weight, I mean just bolder. And so, you see, when you start saying, like use pushups as an example. If you can only do one pushup on your toes, but then a month later you can do five, that's exciting. That's exciting progress. And you can see that happening.

Robin Legat: When you're focusing on weight loss, first of all, there is that tendency to become obsessive about it so you step on the scale every single day and you don't see the movement and you get discouraged. That's tough. And then the other side of it is the scale doesn't tell you the whole story of what's happening with you. So, you don't know what's going on with your body fat. You don't even know what's going on with your hormones. There are a lot of things that could be happening that can cause your weight to go up even though you're in better shape or cause your weight to stay the same even though your body fat has gone down.

Robin Legat: So, I like to take the focus away from obsessing about the scale and towards a performance goal because a side effect of chasing a performance goal is often weight loss, is often the goal you were looking at in the first place. But you're not thinking as much about it, you're thinking about these cool things that you can do now that you couldn't do before.

Alice Agnello: I will 100% agree with you about the performance because I like to try and make myself many goals. So, I used to never be able to do a burpee at all. And so, I eventually worked my way up to do one and then I got good at it. And now I can do one with the pushup. Not without help [inaudible 00:17:40]. But from where I started until where I am now, I can really go, yeah, now I can do it. And then if I slip off a little bit, I noticed I need to work a little harder to get back to be able to do it again. I remember when I really started exercising and I could lift more groceries bags just from the car to the house, and it wasn't a struggle.

Alice Agnello: Those were the little things that I noticed, or I know this is going to sound crazy but I think every woman out there can, what is the word, can imagine this in her head, is when you go use a public restroom and you have to do the hover. crosstalk Oh my gosh. So all the squats I ever did, it prepares you for that moment when you have to hover. Remember when I did the first time, I was like, I thank my trainers because now I can do this and I can do it and not dying and my thighs are holding me up. And I was like, this is fantastic. I went in the next day and I told her that. And she started laughing so hard. She's like, "Hey, if that's a goal for you, then right on."

Robin Legat: You have to find that goal that has meaning for you. And the grocery thing I was laughing when you said that because I have said this over and over again that the only reason why I work out is so that I don't have to take two trips with my groceries. That is my number one motivator. I live up multiple flights of stairs, and my number one motivator to staying fit is that I don't want to take multiple trips with my groceries. So if that is the one thing alone that gets you to stay consistent with your training, that's a great performance goal. It's very useful.

Alice Agnello: And it's also the little tiny things like you're not so exhausted if you've cleaned the house. It's easier to use a vacuum cleaner because you're used different muscles when you're doing that. And I noticed I was working out and I used it, I was like, ooh, that's a muscle that's sore right there. Didn't even know there was a muscle there. But now I know because I'm exercising. Things I do normally every single day is easier to do. I'm less sore going outside and doing activities around the house to clean up the garage or mow the lawn or something. Everything seems just a little bit easier when you actually have put in a little bit more effort into achieving some sort of athletic goal.

Robin Legat: My husband makes fun of me because when we travel and we go to the baggage claim, I always muscle through it all, like I got this. And I will grab all the suitcases. We used to go and there's a whole side tangent, but for four years, we went on an 80s themed cruise, where actual 80s artists were on the cruise. And I remember, we were at a baggage claim and one of the artists, I think it was Don Was from Was (Not Was), really specific there, but he was waiting and I went in and got the suitcase. And he was like, wow, and he's like, yeah, she works out. So you never know who you're going to impress at the baggage claim when you are the one that can go and get the big heavy suitcases.

Alice Agnello: I think I also take pride as when some guy will come over and try to help me for whatever reasons. I'm like, I got it, really seriously, I got this. Thank you, though.

Robin Legat: Grocery stores are always do you need help out? No, load me up. Load me up, I got this.

Alice Agnello: I have been working out. I can do this.

Robin Legat: There's really useful life applications that you don't even think about to staying fit, staying healthy and even living athletic. Just the things you can do. And it's super empowering to turn down that help, to be the one to grab the suitcase, to know that you can spend all day doing your chores around the house and not feel tired. It's really super useful in your whole entire life.

Alice Agnello: And if you want to try and set goals for yourself, how do you think is the best way to go about that?

Robin Legat: Well, it's interesting because I think a lot about goal setting right now because of the situation we are in the pandemic because I'm a big, big proponent of what's your why, what's your goal, what's your driving force, because I think as women, we are conditioned to think, well, I have to get a gym membership and work out because I'm supposed to work out. It's what I'm supposed to do. But you know what, doing what you're supposed to do is not motivating in the slightest. It's not enough. So it'll get you started but it won't keep you going. It won't keep showing up.

Robin Legat: So having a goal in place, having something that drives you forward, that's the thing that keeps you showing up every day because you want that thing. And that's why I think performance goals are so powerful because if you want to run a 5K, you have to put in the work. You have to show up and do the work so that you can accomplish that goal that's going to make you feel freaking amazing when you cross that finish line. So I like to use that as an example a lot. But here we are in a pandemic, and if your goal is to run a 5K, what 5K are you running? There isn't one. So you have to retool how you think about your goals.

Robin Legat: And so, I came up with what I call the ABCs of goal setting. And it will help lead you to a tangible yet exciting goal. Those are the two things. It needs to be exciting enough to get you to show up, but tangible enough that it doesn't feel so far out of reach that why are you doing it.

Robin Legat: So the ABCs of goal setting are as follows. A is aim high. So first, you do have to think of that big, lofty what do you want, the pie in the sky goal. So, I'm going to use running a marathon as an example. And especially as we get older, as the kids move out of the house and you have a little more time on your hands, maybe you have thought like, oh, it'd be cool to run a marathon someday. I could never do that. That's huge. I once thought that, I once thought I could never run a marathon. Why would anybody run for four hours straight? That's insane. Or five, six, eight, whatever hours.

Robin Legat: But say you have that little inkling of a thought, like it'd be cool to run a marathon. Well start thinking about that. That's okay to think about even if you're not anywhere near that because you want to visualize that. So aim high, think about something that's much bigger than where you're at right now.

Robin Legat: Then the B of the ABCs of goal setting is break out of your comfort zone. So take that big lofty goal, the marathon, for example. What is a version of that that you can work towards now that is a stepping stone to that goal? So that's where maybe the 5K comes in. If you've never run even a 5K race, that is a great stepping stone to the marathon. If you've run a 5K, maybe 10K is your next stepping stone to the marathon. So find what that is, that thing that is just outside of your comfort zone, just outside of where you're at now, but you could possibly work towards in the next one to three months. So the marathon is the aim high. The 5K is the break out of your comfort zone.

Alice Agnello: Because I definitely know that if I try immediately to jump to going to the marathon, I'm not going to make it. I know that about myself. I would be like, that's too scary for me to try. I'm good at imagining it, but yeah, let's bring it down to that smaller, achievable.

Robin Legat: Now we're moving from 26.2 miles to 3.1 miles. You can wrap your brain around that a little better. And it's something that you can realistically work towards in the next six, eight weeks. Or if you want to do 90 days, that's even easier because you can break it down to even more manageable chunks.

Robin Legat: So, you start thinking, okay, that's the thing I'm going to work towards now. And if you achieve that thing, you're taking a step towards that marathon. You've already, okay, I've got three miles now, I can go to six. But let's break it to the thing that's just outside of your comfort zone right now, the 3.1 miles, the 5K. All right, cool.

Robin Legat: Now C is change to adapt. So we have this 5K goal, how do we adapt it to the situation we're in now? So if there are no races, you don't have this actual race you can do and sign up for and put on your calendar, which is the best way to stay committed to a goal is to actually pay for it. Sing up for and pay for it and lock it down on that calendar, and now you got to train for it. Well, the 5K isn't happening anytime soon, and you don't want to sign up for a 5K in September 2021. It's hard to motivate that long.

Robin Legat: So what can you do now? There's a couple of ways you can tweak that now. First way you can tweak that is just be like I'm going to run 3.1 miles without stopping in eight weeks. I'm going to pick a route in my neighborhood and I'm going to mark it, and I'm going to train to do that without stopping to walk on this date. You set a reasonable date, but not too far out, I'd say no more than 90 days. Write it down, and then you work towards that. So that's one option.

Robin Legat: Another option is a virtual race. So there's all sorts of virtual races out there. So you can actually sign up for, pay for, a virtual race where you will get a medal if you complete it. And so you find one that's interesting to you. I say about 5Ks, there's a 5K for everything. There's the hot chocolate 5K, there's the wine 5K.

Alice Agnello: You could make it your own.

Robin Legat: You make it your own.

Alice Agnello: Chocolate 5K, I'm going to tell my girlfriend about it and she and I are going to go get chocolate pancakes afterwards or something like that.

Robin Legat: And that's another thing you can do is get an accountability buddy and do it together, and then you can lift each other up. But yeah, you can do that on your own, you can sign up for race. I used to do the 80s race because I like to dress up an 80s clothes and do 80s things. So that was the one that got me excited. But other people get excited about different stuff. I've seen the Wonder Woman one shows up on my feed. And you look and it's like, oh, that's a cool medal, I'd like to have that. Sign up for that one.

Robin Legat: So, there are versions of these races that you can do in COVID times. But you just commit to that thing. So you aim high, you think big. You break it down into what's the next level that you can achieve right now that's just outside of your comfort zone, and then you adapt it to the times we're in now so that you don't give yourself the excuse to say, well, I'd love to run a 5K but there's no races so I guess I'm not going to do that. You can do it, you just got to think a little differently.

Alice Agnello: Do you find that because of the pandemic, more people are giving more excuses why they can't achieve certain goals or do you find the opposite more people are trying to achieve their goals?

Robin Legat: I'm seeing different things. So, I do see an issue where people are dealing with a lack of motivation, because I think when this thing started in March, it's like, okay, it's temporary, I'll do Zoom workouts at home or I'll take some time off or whatever, but it's temporary. And so, people may do because they thought it was going to be over sooner than it was. I mean, it isn't. And then it set in and it's like, oh, this could be a little more permanent and I can't go back to my gym or I can't run these races. I had a whole schedule of races that I wanted to run this year, and I was able to do a couple in January and February. I did run a marathon in March. I ran the LA marathon, it was the last thing that anyone did before everything shut down. It's disappointing to not be able to do these things that you plan to do.

Robin Legat: And so over time, I think people struggled with lack of motivation and felt down about the situation that we were in. And so, some people fell off. Some people stopped working out or they gave themselves greater permission not to workout on certain days if they're not feeling it. Whereas they might have been a little more consistent before. I've seen other people be super, super consistent. And then I've seen people do really interesting things, like elite level athletes because they don't have races. I've seen an interesting thing happen where they are now chasing fastest known times on certain trails, where it's like, they want to be the fastest person to ever run this particular trail segment.

Robin Legat: I'm more seeing that with elite athletes, not everyday folks like you and me. But it's been fascinating to see how people have adapted at the elite high, high level, how they've adapted, what they're doing so that they don't fall off. And so, it's like they don't have races but you can go out into the middle of nowhere and try and be the fastest person ever to run in the middle of nowhere. It's affecting people differently. I think it depends on the circumstances of your life. If you're a young mother of multiple children, it's going to be harder for you to make that time, to make fitness a priority. Whereas if your kids are grown, it might be a little easier during this time to adapt and change and try different things.

Alice Agnello: What's been interesting is, I belong to a bigger gym and then I belong to a smaller boutique gym. And so I've always liked going to the boutique gym. There's classes, boot camps every three days and I love it. But I also got into, it's very now too much of a habit. I feel like there's no more of a challenge anymore. And then I got my back injury which then just laid me out for like four weeks. So now I'm slowly trying to get back into it, and it's definitely harder when you've been either through injury or because you just don't want to. Because of the environment that we live in, I've heard from a lot of women that I just, as you said, totally unmotivated to do anything.

Alice Agnello: And so, if you're at that point, what could you give us encouragement to try and change that mindset a little bit, to try and get motivated just a little bit?

Robin Legat: I think the first thing I would suggest is actually to take yourself through the ABCs of goal setting for yourself, because you might just need to light that spark on why you're working out, why it's important, what is driving you. If you don't have a reason, then again, it's like I don't feel it. You need to find that thing that's going to make you feel it again. So, take yourself through the steps. Aim high. What's a big, big goal that you'd like to accomplish? What's a smaller version of that goal? And what can that be now? And write it down. Write down that thing and then your next step is okay, what do I need to do? How do I need to change up my fitness routine? How do I need to adapt my fitness routine to work towards that so that every day when I wake up, I'm a step closer to that thing that I know is going to feel amazing if I do it?

Alice Agnello: And it's definitely what you said, it's the routine. You got into this routine and now you rally do have to do at least one thing to kind of just change up your routine just a little bit. I know my husband I think has gotten used to me being home in the mornings with him because usually I'm at the gym. And so, I warned him just this week, I said, just so you know, don't get comfortable. I'm going to go back to the gym again and I'm not going to be here. So you're going to have to get all your stuff together and make your coffee, because I'm just an early riser, so I just get stuff done ready to go. And he's like, okay. And again, I don't think he clearly understands what this is going to impact him.

Robin Legat: Not till he stands in front of the coffee maker and he's like, why isn't it there?

Alice Agnello: Exactly, what do I do? Just funny how you said write it down, just today I was writing down how do I want my schedule to be each day. I need to get up a little earlier. I need to go back to the gym. And I started writing down times because that's how I am, I am a planner so I have to, but it helps my brain just wrapped around what needs to get done each day and why I want to do it. I want to get back into yoga and my flexibility. I know that will then help my back and prevent more injury and possible doctor bills or anything like that.

Alice Agnello: So it's not enough of a tangible goal for me. So I'm still trying to wrestle with what do I want that goal or what do I want it to be, and then pick it and then put it in the date in the calendar to really stick to it. Of course my husband, when I ask him, hey, let's do something really healthy for your birthday this year, did not go over well at all.

Robin Legat: Goals are uniquely personal.

Alice Agnello: Exactly. Go ahead.

Robin Legat: I'm grateful and I'm lucky that my husband has gotten as much into fitness as I have. It was a bit of a bait and switch for him because I was not a fitness professional when we got married. But it happened afterwards. He's very competitive with me now. So now he's like, I went faster than you, ha ha. Be careful what you ask for is the moral of that story.

Alice Agnello: Do you have any advice for women whose spouse or family members may not be as encouraging or might not, what's the word I'm looking for, it's like I feel like I'm always driving the bus. I'm wanting to get healthier and feel better and my husband's kind of there but not really with me. How do you encourage women to keep going when you've got not a great support system at home?

Robin Legat: Everybody's journey is uniquely theirs. And I think we have to remember that, that if somebody tried to push you to do things that you didn't want to do and you weren't ready to do, how would you feel? It's okay if not everybody gets you and what you do. I played roller derby, not everybody got that. While I was playing roller derby, it was sort of, it's like Harry Potter and the muggles. It's like, there's the people who do it and then there's everybody else who they do not get it. Do you elbow each other? Is there a ball? Do you wear roller blades? We get asked the same dumb questions. The answer is no you don't, no, there's no ball, and we wear quad skates, not roller blades. Just helping y'all out.

Robin Legat: You get used to people not fully understanding. When you find a passion, you do have to get used to the idea that not everybody understands your passion, but it is uniquely yours. And so, it's okay to own that it's uniquely yours and celebrate that it's uniquely yours. And it's important for us to have things that are uniquely ours. It's important, and I think women and moms forget that sometimes. We live so much of our lives, for other people, for our families, for our jobs, for our careers, that we forget about us, and we forget to do the things that feed our souls. And so, it's okay, and in fact, I encourage you to do the things that excite you even if people don't get it.

Robin Legat: Then my second piece of advice is just be patient with the people who don't get it. Yes, you can encourage, I do encourage you to encourage your spouse to experience that journey with you. If your spouse is not ready or your partner is not ready to experience that journey with you, don't force it. It's still your journey. But if you're patient, you may find that things change over time. And that's what happened with my husband. When I was playing roller derby, he wasn't doing anything for fitness. And when I became a trainer, he was supportive and he came to my classes and was winded within 10 minutes. I like to remind him of those days as he rushes me in long trail runs now. You never know. But his journey had to take his amount of time.

Robin Legat: I love telling this story, but when I first started doing obstacle races, I do Spartan races, that's primarily what I do. And I got really into it. I did one race with a bunch of boot campers that I taught. And my husband came with. They're like, yeah, that was a good time. And I'm like, this is my new favorite thing, I'm going to do it all the time. So I just started signing up for races and races. In the beginning, my husband did it with me. And then we did a race up in Monterey, California that was very hilly and very hard. And halfway through the race, he turned to me and he said, "You know what, I don't think this is our thing, I think this is your thing," as he was suffering through this race. And I said, you know what, okay, that's okay. We got to finish this race, but that's okay.

Robin Legat: And after that, he would join me on the short ones, but would never join me on anything more than three miles, for a long time, a year and a half. And then a year and a half later, we were doing a short race, and one of the obstacles in the race is a spear throw, where you throw a spear and hit a target. And I'm very, very bad at those by the way. He threw the spear and he hit the target, and he's like, yeah, I'm back. It's our thing again. And then he started doing the longer, longer races with me. And last year, we did a 30 mile ultra race that took us 13 hours. And that was years after he said it's not our thing, it's now our thing again. His journey was different than mine. That's my long way of saying his journey was on a different timetable than my journey was.

Robin Legat: And so, I was patient with him and I continued on my journey. It's different when they don't support you at all, where they poo poo what you're doing. That's a bit of a harder road to navigate. But speak your mind, tell them, I love doing this, it's important to me. I need this time to do this. And then like you said, work with your schedule. Plan it, schedule it. Be open in communication with your partner on what you need from them in order for you to have that thing for you because it is so, so important for women and for moms to have something for us and feed our soul. I use that phrase a lot, feed your soul. It will make you a better mother, it will make you a better person out in the world. It will make you better at your job. It'll give you more confidence to ask for the things you want in your life.

Robin Legat: For me, it helped me become an entrepreneur. If that's a road you want to go down, it'll help give you the confidence to do that. So there's so many benefits that come from pursuing these passions. And in my world, it's athletic passions, but for you, it could be differently, or it could be different.

Alice Agnello: I love that advice. It makes me think, again, that I just need to let my husband do his own thing, whether he comes with me or not, because I always offer, I say, I'm going to the gym at this time, do you want to come with me or not? And I always tell him, I don't care if you don't come. It's fine. It's up to you whether you want to do it or not. So thank you for that is what I'm trying to say for the remainder.

Alice Agnello: I've thoroughly enjoyed our discussion today, Robin. Thank you so much again. And of course, I've got three questions that I love to ask everyone that I interview on the show. So, tell me something that not a lot of people know about you.

Robin Legat: Okay. So this is a fun one. And I'm just going to lead it with this and then we can go deeper. I was on The Bachelor.

Alice Agnello: So not what I thought you were going to say.

Robin Legat: I know.

Alice Agnello: So, were you on it or you were on the show helping out in the background or something or a trainer for it?

Robin Legat: Last one, I was a trainer for it. I always like to lead like I was on The Bachelor and let people try and work through, was she a contestant?

Alice Agnello: And you saw my thought process, I'm like, wait a second.

Robin Legat: What seasons was she on? I don't remember seeing her.

Alice Agnello: That's awesome.

Robin Legat: Fans on The Bachelor know that there's always those group dates, right? They always have the group dates where they make them do ridiculous things. They're like, you're going to do a boxing match because that proves how you feel about love. And they always have the dumb metaphor around this crazy activity they have to do. Bachelor fans, if you remember Sean Lowe in his season, it was a long time ago now, if you remember Sean Lowe, his season, one of the earliest episodes had a group date where they learned how to play roller derby. And I was one of the coaches.

Alice Agnello: That's so cool. I love it.

Robin Legat: The cool thing about my roller derby experience, especially in LA is in Los Angeles, you get opportunities to do television shows or filming. And so whenever they wanted to do a roller derby episode of something, they often came to us. And so, there's all sorts of different, like CSI did a couple episodes with us, and Bones did an episode with us. There are a lot of procedurals that did episodes with us.

Alice Agnello: Psyche comes to mind.

Robin Legat: They were a different league, but I know every roller derby that ever happened, and who was on it. And so we would get to be background skaters and things like that. Well, when The Bachelor came knocking, thankfully, they came to me because they knew I was a fan, and they're like, would you like to be a part of that? Yes, very much.

Alice Agnello: Where do I sign.

Robin Legat: This is the greatest moment of my life.

Alice Agnello: So cool.

Robin Legat: And so, I got to experience from an insider's point of view how a group date is filmed, what it's like for them. I got to talk, I got to be the one that introduced like welcome, ladies. You're going to play roller derby. It's going to show how tough you are when you are pursuing love and what you're willing to do for love. And I had to make that little speech. One of my favorite moments of the day was that, I'm a bachelor fan, I know everything about it. I know there's drama, I know there's usually a villain.

Robin Legat: There was downtime during the filming and we were all just sitting around. And so I started asking them questions, I'm like so, who's the villain of the house? Tell me the gossip. And of course, I'm mic'ed and the producers can hear me. And so it took all of like five seconds before they yanked me out of there because they didn't want any of that going on off camera. They didn't want that conversation going on with me, they want that conversation going on with each other. And so, they they heard me talking and they're like, oh oh, and just pulled me out of the room at that time. They're like, no, no, no.

Alice Agnello: What they should have done was said, hey, can you come out and do this all again out here so we can film it.

Robin Legat: Well, they did a little bit of that. There was a point in the day where they quickly realized that like, the plan was for us to teach them to play roller derby and then for them to have a game. And there was a point in the day where they learned, they realized that these women could not skate for the most part. And having them play a game would be a very dangerous thing to do. And so they changed their plan and they were like, okay, instead, they're going to have Sean pick someone for a couples skate around the track.

Robin Legat: And so they had Sean come to us, the trainers, and sit down with us on camera and say, you know what, I was thinking about it, I'm worried about their safety. And so I think that we shouldn't do that. Do you think that's okay? And it's like, we already knew the answer because the producers told us. We're like, yeah, that's fine. But they had Sean be like the sensitive, caring guy to tell to make, they're like Sean is making that decision.

Alice Agnello: I could have seen that coming a mile away. You put all these women in competition with each other, not as a team, but with each other. It's like you don't think they're going to try and one another out as they go around the rink.

Robin Legat: And it's just dangerous, they don't know how to skate. You can't teach someone how to play roller derby in one day, and so many television productions made that mistake and thought you could teach someone how to play roller derby in one day. It happened over and over and over again with us. And we always had to work the shoot around ...

Alice Agnello: Around what they can and can't do.

Robin Legat: Like visual tricks because they can't skate. So yeah, that's my fun fact is I was on The Bachelor. That's a claim to fame that I will take to my grave.

Alice Agnello: That's awesome. I have not met anyone yet, so I think that's awesome that you were.

Robin Legat: There you go. There are six degrees of separation from The Bachelor. inaudible one degree.

Alice Agnello: Name three things that you can't live without other than your family and friends.

Robin Legat: So, the number one thing is two things because it's my cats. So, I have two cats, England Dan and John Ford Coley are their names. And if anyone knows where that name comes where those names come from, number one, you're old, and number two, I'm impressed with you. Do you know where those names come from?

Alice Agnello: No, it doesn't ring a bell.

Robin Legat: So England Dan and John Ford Coley are 70s yacht rock musicians. They're kind of one hit-ish wonder but they're easy listening. My husband named them. The vets hate the names but we love them. So England Dan and John Ford Coley are my two tabby cat brothers. They're three years old. They're adorable. I first of all, I just love cats. I'm a cat lady. I am your crazy cat lady. And I just adore my cats. My cats have been my saving grace during the pandemic. They keep me sane because they are hilarious all the time. They're very cuddly and sweet and they just make my heart explode.

Robin Legat: Number two is probably pasta. I love spaghetti, Italian food. And number three, I'm going to say my roller skate. I love my roller skates. And the roller skates, it's interesting because I retired from roller derby in 2014. I bought myself a pair of cute outdoor skates, they're like mint green, they're super cute. Proceeded to not use them for a bunch of years. And now all of a sudden, the pandemic, it's like roller skating is in. It's a cool thing to do, and I go out every Saturday morning and I skate now. And it's my me time. It's my recovery day and my workout, I don't think about it as a workout. I think of it as emotional and mental health. Just going out listening to music, feeling free. So every Saturday morning, that's my me time, and I get on my skates and I roll. So yeah, I don't think I could live without my skates, especially now.

Alice Agnello: I love it. So, if you could choose one song to play every time you entered a room for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Robin Legat: That is such a tough question for me because I'm a music lover, I'm a music fan. You heard me mentioned the 80s a bunch of times. I love 80s music and there's so many songs. I thought of one because it's just a confidence jam. And that's Baby I'm a Star from Prince. It's just a super empowering confidence, like, if I just need that big boost of I'm a rock star, I'm awesome, I'm a superhero. Throw that song on and you feel good. Plus Prince is just everything.

Alice Agnello: I'll agree with you on that one.

Robin Legat: Prince is everything. Any chance to listen to Prince makes you feel good.

Alice Agnello: 100% agree. Thank you so much, Robin, for being on the show today. How's the best way for people to get ahold of you?

Robin Legat: So I'll give you a couple ways. My website is a work in progress right now but I do have a page that's a great way to see what I do, and that's robinlegat.com/quicklinks. I have a podcast called Seasoned Athlete, you can listen to my podcast. Join my Facebook group for Badass Women over 40 who want to live athletic lives. You can see what programs I'm offering, so it's all there on that page. And then I'd love it if you just go on over to my Instagram. So my Instagram is @RobinLegatSGX, so R-O-B-I-N L-E-G-A-T S-G-X. SGX stands for Spartan SGX, it's Spartan Races Certified Coaching. But I always post a lot of motivational stuff, educational stuff, stuff to fire you up, get you thinking confident thoughts about yourself and your life. Go on over there and give me a follow, that would be awesome. Again, @RobinLegatSGX, that's a great way to see what's going on with me and what I'm up to and learn some stuff. And maybe get motivated to try something new yourself.

Alice Agnello: Excellent. Thank you Robin so much. I appreciate it.

Robin Legat: Thank you for having me on the show. I'm so thrilled to have been here.

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Alice Agnello, Lifestyle and Success Coach

I'm Alice Agnello.

I’m a California raised, incurable romantic who was too snarky for the corporate world. I love show tunes, chai tea, and all things British. My mission? To help women rediscover who they are, after their kids have grown.

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