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Episode 53 – My Tough Love Answer To: “How Do I Move Forward?”

My Tough Love Answer To: “How Do I Move Forward In Midlife?”

How do you move forward?

Hey there Beautiful!

Holy cow what a week I just finished!

Last Monday, I launched the free workshop, 5 Days To Stop Feeling Lost, Get Unstuck, And Find Yourself Again. The response and feedback has been amazing and humbling for me to know that the workshop made a difference to so many women.

If you missed it, you can still sign up to binge-watch the whole thing HERE.  But access will be only available until midnight EST, this Thursday on April 30th.

Fair warning: you will receive about 5-6 emails all at once since each one pertains to each day of the workshop.

And drumroll please, the membership to The Next Step Society is now open as well!

I created this membership as a way for more women to get the help that they need to move forward with their life every single month. It really, really gets on my last nerve when I see comments on social media of women desperate to get help, don’t know where to get it, and are afraid of judgment to even ask for help.

Imagine if in six months:

  • You knew exactly what you wanted and had the support to get you there?
  • You learned the way to love the person you saw in the mirror everyday?
  • You confidently enjoyed trying new things and meeting new people?
  • You discovered your purpose and felt energized to get out of bed every morning?
  • You prioritized what you wanted and still were able to be a great mom, spouse, and friend?
  • Gain the courage to figure out and ask for what you want.
  • Find your purpose and know what you were meant to do.
  • Learn the skills to overcome anxiety, fear, and procrastination to go after your dreams and achieve them!

Be one of the founding members!

This is the first time that I'm doing this and I want to invite YOU to be one of the first founding members of The Next Step Society. Because this membership is just starting out, you're going to get all of the support, hand-holding, coaching, content, and the advice that you need from me to get the results that you desire.

Each month you will receive:

  • How-to videos in order for you to take action. 
  • Masterclasses around subjects that will help you get unstuck and move forward. 
  • In-depth group coaching call with me and the other members of the society around the subjects that are most important to the members. 
  • And other surprises that I will include because you know I LOVE surprises!

The price will be lower but only if you join now.

When you become a founding member, you're not going to pay as much as everyone else will later on. When I launch this membership again in a few months, I will be charging a higher price.

But this is your opportunity to get in NOW at the founding member price.

So the question is, are you going to take action now and save money OR are you going to wait for months, not see any results, still be stuck in the place you are right now, and then pay a higher price?

Enrollment closes on April 30th and won't reopen until the fall.

To find out more about The Next Step Society, click HERE and on the page is a video you can watch to learn even more about it.

And now for some tough love.

Today’s episode is a bit of tough love that you know of course I’m never in short supply of.

It’s like I tell my kids, “Don’t ask my opinion if you don’t want to know the answer.” Because many times, my opinion doesn’t put the cherry on top of their idea like they were hoping, and then they have to go back and think about it some more.

Or they get upset because I didn’t agree right away and therefore it makes them feel like they can’t do anything right (which is of course ridiculous).

But that’s what we do when someone doesn’t agree with us. We think that it makes us less than. We ask other people for their opinions to find validation for our ideas and hope that they will agree with us.

It gives us a jolt of feeling awesome that someone’s opinion we care about or respect is in agreement with ours.

How do you move forward?

So today I’m giving you the answer to a question I’ve seen a LOT lately.

I talked about trying to find your purpose and how to move forward in episode 50.

But I really didn’t give you a great answer in that episode to the question of “How do you move forward?” I was so focused on explaining how to find your purpose that I ignored the other heavy question of “How do you move forward?”

Change your question to get a better answer.

Okay the FIRST thing that you have to do is change the question that you’re asking.

It’s not “How do you move forward?”

You need to ask the better question of, “What is keeping you from moving forward?”

It’s not the “how.”

You can figure out the “how” to move forward. It’s the “what” that is keeping you from moving forward.

And the very simple answer is, YOU!

You are what’s keeping you from moving forward.

It’s that simple.

YOU are what’s keeping YOU from moving forward. I know that’s hard to hear but it’s the actual truth.

You have the answers within you.

You cannot blame others for not moving forward.

It’s way too easy to direct the blame of not being able to move forward on other circumstances rather than look inward.

You could blame your financial situation.

You could blame your unsupportive spouse.

You could blame your ungrateful children.

You could blame your soul-crushing job.

You could blame your deadbeat dad or your strict mother.

You could blame the small town or the big city you live in.

You could blame the car you drive or the house you live in.

It doesn’t matter what or who you’re blaming except that it’s the wrong thing.

You like where you are since it’s safe and familiar.

Our bodies are wired to stay safe.

It’s like when you have to get up in front of a group of people on stage to give a speech.

You’re standing in the wings waiting for your name to be announced. As you stare at the podium in the middle of the stage with the spotlight shining down, you begin to feel the heavy silence rolling in from the audience.

Your face gets hot, your palms start to sweat, your heart begins to race, and you desperately try to calm the butterflies beating against your stomach.

As you hear your name and begin to put one foot in front of the other, you feel all the eyes of the audience focused on you and pray that you don’t trip.

You fear the judgment you see reflected back at you from the audiences’ eyes.

What you really want to do is run off the stage into the wings where the light of the spotlight can’t follow you.

It’s dark and safe off stage.

The spotlight is bright, exposed, and uncomfortable..

You have to take action to move forward.

That’s how it feels every time you try something new, exposed and uncomfortable.

You are making decisions to keep you safe with your feet stuck off stage in one place.

You are having arguments in your brain where your fear is winning every single time.

You are avoiding doing the work to try to figure out what you want because again, that’s scary to figure out.

You’re waiting in the wings for your name to be called but at the same time you don’t want your name to be called. Because then that means you have to do something.

You have to take action. And if you finally do decide to take action, you then will be on a new path and you can’t see where it ends.

If only life were like a board game.

It’s just like when you play a board game.

During the game we all keep moving forward, no matter what obstacles or money has to be paid to keep spinning the wheel or rolling the dice.

It's easy to keep moving forward around a board game when you know all the rules and can see the game board's path clearly.

It's harder in real life when you can't see how you're going to get around an obstacle and you can't count out the spaces when you’re shown two different paths to see which square that you land on will be the better option.

YOU are keeping you from moving forward!

So YOU are keeping you from moving forward.

I can’t tell you the thing, the words of wisdom, the light-bulb moment, or the a-HA that you’re going to have to get you out of your own way.

Maybe you’ll read it in a book.

Maybe you’ll hear it on my podcast.

Maybe you’ll see it on the side of a bus.

Or maybe you’ll have a conversation with a stranger that will open your eyes to a new possibility.

Move forward and take responsibility for your happiness.

My hope is that the increase in your awareness that YOU are what’s keeping you from moving forward will help you start making different decisions. 

Say yes to something that you keep saying no to just because you’re scared. 

Say no to something that you keep saying yes to just because it’s easier that way. 

Take responsibility for your life’s happiness.

I will leave you with this question for you to answer: What do you need to let go of in order to move forward?

I’ll talk to you later, Beautiful!

Just a few days left to become a founding member of The Next Step Society. Click HERE to find out all the deets and ensure you don't get a bad case of FOMO!

Thanks for listening!

Share your thoughts with me or ask a question about this episode. Send an email.

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Alice Agnello, Lifestyle and Success Coach

I'm Alice Agnello.

I’m a California raised, incurable romantic who was too snarky for the corporate world. I love show tunes, chai tea, and all things British. My mission? To help women rediscover who they are, after their kids have grown.

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→  Work on your mindset so you can recognize negative thoughts and work to quiet them.

→  Help figure out what’s bothering you and know it’s okay to go at your own pace.

→ Understand that taking care of yourself is the most important person in your life and to release the guilt.

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You spent so much time being mom and wife and putting them before you. So when the kids grew up, you suddenly have all this time to yourself, but you don't know who YOU are anymore. What are you supposed to do now?

I want to help you get started. Download the free guide to
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I want the Guide!

Download the FREE guide to 5 Things You Can Do This Week To Help Find Yourself. You are ready to take this next step now that the kids have grown.

The guide will help you:

→  Work on your mindset so you can recognize negative thoughts and work to quiet them.

→  Help figure out what’s bothering you and know it’s okay to go at your own pace.

→ Understand that taking care of yourself is the most important person in your life and to release the guilt.

Sign up to receive my whitty newsletters, tips & tricks, promotions, & other emails, & receive this free guide!

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Before you go, get the Guide!

Download the FREE guide to 5 Things You Can Do This Week To Help Find Yourself. You are ready to take this next step now that the kids have grown.

The guide will help you:

→  Work on your mindset so you can recognize negative thoughts and work to quiet them.

→  Help figure out what’s bothering you and know it’s okay to go at your own pace.

→ Understand that taking care of yourself is the most important person in your life and to release the guilt.

Sign up to receive my whitty newsletters, tips & tricks, promotions, & other emails, & receive this free guide!